Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #media #sports #stars #development

The younger generation

are having

Suggestion

is having

great admiration for media and sport

celebrities

Accept comma addition

celebrities, although

although

they are not perfect role models to follow. In my view,

this

could be seen as detrimental. From one standpoint, emulating famous entertainment stars might spark changing patterns of fashion and

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

among young adults who are not mature enough to judge what is suitable within their society. As

matter

Suggestion

a matter

of fact, they show a propensity for copying what those stars say or do on TV, even if their actions go against the cultural value of some localities. Regarding fashion, the way Dam Vinh Hung, who is a renowned Vietnamese singer, dresses would be the onset of a modern yet rather unacceptable trend of fashion with exposed skin. Unfortunately, the young have yet to understand the long-term shortcomings of

such

a trend to

traditional way

Suggestion

the traditional way

of dressing which values the beauty and elegance of clothes

such

as the

Suggestion

Dai

Suggestion

Day

Additionally

such

reverence for celebrities in the field of entertainment would possibly cause a detriment to social security under certain circumstances. A typical example of

this

is the chaos during and after Korean singers and musical bands’ show in Vietnam a few years ago when the crowd of fans went uncontrollable, which caused irritation for the locals and

also

danger

Suggestion

a danger

to the fans themselves.

Furthermore

, if their idols were criticized due to their scandals, they would try to

sugar-coat

coat with something sweet, such as a hard sugar glaze

sugarcoat

suffocate

the situation or even trigger arguments.

This

would be really challenging for authorities

to maintain

Suggestion

maintain

security. In conclusion, I suppose the phenomenon that young people idolize media and sport celebrated individuals who are notorious in some aspects is negative.

Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on Sun Oct 20 2019

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

media personalities
sports icons
role models
admiration
influence
behavior
mindset
values
unethical behavior
healthy lifestyles
social media platforms
celebrity culture
career aspirations
educational goals
positive change
ethical standards
amplify
idolize
public perception
impressionable

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Nowadays, young people admire media and sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that modern games do not develop skill in children.However traditional games developed skills in childhood.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In maby countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In many parts of the world, people are choosin gto have fewer children. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?