IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph compares the rate of
people
Use synonyms
 going to a
movie
Use synonyms
 theatre on different days of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 week in the years 2003, 2005 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 going to a theatre on weekends is higher than the weekdays. All days saw a
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
 with Monday, Saturday and Sunday
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 an upward
trend
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday saw a downward
trend
Use synonyms
. Friday numbers are constant
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the years. In 2003 ,10% of
people
Use synonyms
 visited
movie
Use synonyms
 theatres on Monday, which is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 of all the days in the year,
while
Linking Words
 40% of
people
Use synonyms
 watched a
movie
Use synonyms
 outside on Saturdays which is the highest of the year. Sunday
movie
Use synonyms
 watchers contributed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% in 2003. Despite improvement in the number of film watchers on Monday, Saturday and Sunday to just under 15%, 45% and around 35%, respectively in 2005 the figures went down
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. On the other side, Wednesday theatre visitors are around 15% in 2003 and declined steadily to just under 10% by 2007. Tuesdays and Thursdays have followed the same
trend
Use synonyms
 with a decline in the figures
at the end
Linking Words
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Friday cinema visitors remained stable in all the years
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, movie, trend with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: