IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people buy new phones or laptops to keep up with the latest technology. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

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In today's innovative world,
people
Use synonyms
 greatly rely on gadgets,
such
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 as mobile phones, computers, tablets, laptops, etc., to be up-to-date with the latest advancements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
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.
This
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 is a positive thing
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due to
Change preposition
for
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 several reasons, which I will
be discussing
Wrong verb form
discuss
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further
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. First of all, keeping up with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
technology
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 by purchasing
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 mobile devices or laptops helps connect
people
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 from anywhere in the world.
That is
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 to say, with
the
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apply
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breakthrough applications
such
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 as Twitter, Facebook, etc., one can reach his grandparents or friends without any hassle.
For example
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, Skype has made it possible to connect
people
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 globally, thereby strengthening our bonds.
Secondly
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, if an individual buys
a
Change the article
the
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 latest laptop from the market, it will make his life more convenient.
In other words
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, a student can carry it wherever he commutes because of the compact design and lightweight.
This
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 would help an individual to complete his tasks or assignments
in
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on
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 a train or at a serene park.
For instance
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, in 2012 an article published in The New York Times reported that over 80% of the population in Vietnam were able to carry out their work in everyday commute with the latest PC designs.
Furthermore
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, keeping up with
the
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apply
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state-of-the-art
technology
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 helps in online education.
That is
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 to say, with the cutting-edge advancements in
technology
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, an individual would broaden his knowledge by going through a plethora of online classes, websites, etc. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
people
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 in the world opt to purchase
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 smart devices,
such
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 as phones,
PC's
Change noun form
PCs
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, etc., to be updated with the
technology
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. It surely is a positive aspect as
this
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 makes our lives convenient and helps
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
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people
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 on the internet.

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task response
Provide more specific examples related to the topic to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion is generally good, but ensure that the ideas flow smoothly and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are clear.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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