Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

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It is believed by some that people working in the entertainment industry

are paid

Suggestion

pay

too much. In

this

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essay I will discuss the reasons why I completely agree

such

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as the unimportance to

society

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and their

work

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relative to

society

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. I will

also

Linking Words

discuss which other

work

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forces should be paid more. Entertainers are not an integral part of

society

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. They do not help or grow the community in any way.

For example

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, Cristiano Ronaldo is the highest paid footballer in the world. His weekly wages are more than an average person makes in a year. Running for 90 minutes on a field does not live up to the incredible

work

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that is

Linking Words

done by other professionals.

As a result

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, the role of entertainers does not justify their earnings. There are various other professions who have a much greater impact on

Use synonyms

society but

Accept comma addition

society, but

their income is not reflective of

this

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. Doctors are a fine example of

this

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because every single day they are saving lives yet some still earn a measly salary compared to entertainers.

Moreover

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, medical training is extensive and expensive. For these reasons, doctors are more deserving of high salaries, especially for the long hours and good

work

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they do.

In addition

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, teachers are

also

Linking Words

servants to the

society

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who dedicate their life in educating people.

They too

Accept comma addition

They, too

, are hopelessly underpaid. For these reasons, people should be paid according to their contribution to the

society

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and

economy

Suggestion

the economy

. In conclusion, I completely agree that entertainers earn too much money relative to their contribution to

society

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. Individuals should be paid according to their dedication and hard

work

Use synonyms

Mon Oct 21 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other jobs should be highly paid?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or this agree with this opinion.

Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Nowadays more and more people use robots at home and work. Do you think it is positive or negative?