Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

It is believed by some that people working in the entertainment industry

are paid

Suggestion

pay

too much. In

this

essay I will discuss the reasons why I completely agree

such

as the unimportance to

society

and their

work

relative to

society

. I will

also

discuss which other

work

forces should be paid more. Entertainers are not an integral part of

society

. They do not help or grow the community in any way.

For example

, Cristiano Ronaldo is the highest paid footballer in the world. His weekly wages are more than an average person makes in a year. Running for 90 minutes on a field does not live up to the incredible

work

that is

done by other professionals.

As a result

, the role of entertainers does not justify their earnings. There are various other professions who have a much greater impact on

society but

Accept comma addition

society, but

their income is not reflective of

this

. Doctors are a fine example of

this

because every single day they are saving lives yet some still earn a measly salary compared to entertainers.

Moreover

, medical training is extensive and expensive. For these reasons, doctors are more deserving of high salaries, especially for the long hours and good

work

they do.

In addition

, teachers are

also

servants to the

society

who dedicate their life in educating people.

They too

Accept comma addition

They, too

, are hopelessly underpaid. For these reasons, people should be paid according to their contribution to the

society

and

economy

Suggestion

the economy

. In conclusion, I completely agree that entertainers earn too much money relative to their contribution to

society

. Individuals should be paid according to their dedication and hard

work

Mon Oct 21 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the current environmental issues should be dealt with only by the government while others believe that individuals could contribute to solving this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

children benefit more from playing outdoors with other children than playing computer games on their own