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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many museums charge for admission while others are free.Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
Nowadays, the trend of visiting the
museum
 has increased significantly. Many
people
, especially young adults, visit the
place
 to learn about their culture,
heritage
Correct word choice
and heritage
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 and to gain some valuable information. But, the problem is,
some
Correct word choice
that some
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 of them are free for
public
Add an article
the public
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,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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;
however
, charge for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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entrance
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the merits and demerits of
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
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 fee and will form
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 opinion
that
Change preposition
on
show examples
 why
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
show examples
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
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any
Correct determiner usage
the
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 negatives.
To begin
 with, the biggest advantage of charging is to generate funds for the running, maintenance and renovation works of the
museum
. What I mean by
this
 is the fact that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
museum
 itself does not have any source to generate revenue, they only display the antique precious items for the public. So that the common man can learn about his values and traditions.
Furthermore
,
plethora
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a plethora
the plethora
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 of employees who work there
,
Remove the comma
apply
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needs
Change the verb form
need
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 salaries to support their families and to earn bread and butter for them and the best way of doing
this
 is to charge
people
 for
entrance
 to the
place
. Another advantage could be to protect the precious commodities from the thieves. Nowadays, it is quite common for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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burglars to steal, until and unless there is a strict check and balance.
Therefore
, making it
entry free
Add a hyphen
entry-free
show examples
 will be an open invitation for the thieves, bringing the lives of
people
 in danger.
On the other hand
, there is a drawback as well that
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
 will visit the
place
.
People
 usually prefer something which is free and easily accessible in
this
 competitive world.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, making them pay means restricting their
entrance
 and less crowd in the end.
To sum up
,
museum
Add an article
the museum
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 holds great value for any country. The way they represent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things is quite impressive. I believe that the advantages of funds generation and protecting the precious items
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 the burglars simply
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
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 the negatives of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
 visiting the
place
.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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