These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #money #tickets #events #development

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It is widely acknowledged that cultural events play an indispensable role in

some

one or some or every or all without specification

any

individual’s life. In order to attend those

events some people

Suggestion

events, some people

spend a huge amount of money on tickets. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

kind of activity is definitely a good practice. One good reason for

this

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is that

such

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cultural and sporting events help many individuals to get away from vicious things like work pressure and stress.

In other words

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern developing world, people are busy with their hectic work schedules and are completely occupied with work targets and project deadlines. The only medium for some individuals to escape the stress and pressure are sports and cultural programmes.

This

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is particularly true in the developing and developed nations.

Furthermore

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, there are many proven medical examples where cultural events worked as a therapy for many health issues. Another point to consider is that by attending these

events individuals

Suggestion

events, individuals

learn to respect different cultures and sports around the globe.

For example

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, when people travel to another country to attend a cultural event, they automatically start to love and respect the culture and some of them may even adopt it.

Additionally

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this

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helps to form healthy relations between two different categories.

Finally

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, in

this

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21st century tourism industry is one of

major sources

Suggestion

the major sources

of income for many countries. Among various

factors cultural

Accept comma addition

factors, cultural

and sports festivals are the major ones to encourage tourism. Major sporting events like

Olympics

Suggestion

the Olympics

an Olympics

or World Cup generate billions of dollars in revenue and

also

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create tens of thousands of jobs. Obviously,

such

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events give a major boost to

world economy

Suggestion

the world economy

. To conclude, I believe that people spending money to attend cultural and sporting events

Suggestion

are

a positive development, especially in

this

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developing world.

This

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not only helps the

individual but

Accept comma addition

individual, but

also

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enables to form a well-rounded society.

Submitted by umemarafaqat on Mon Oct 21 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many companies and other organizations require employees to wear a uniform. For which jobs do you think a uniform is a good thing? What are the disadvantages of having to wear a uniform at work?

In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Stanadarized tests are the best way to assess students ability. Do you agree or disagree?