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Writing Samples
Band 6

Should young people follow older people’s example or it’s good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #people’s #it’s #challenge #thoughts
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It is considered by many that seniors' opinion should be followed by
youth
Suggestion
a youth
the youth
, whereas a school of
thoughts opine
Suggestion
the thoughts opine
 that it has become common that juveniles argue with their grandparents. I personally believe that adolescents should consult old masses and move on their footsteps in certain cases, and intend to
discuas
to consider or examine in speech or writing
discuss
disclose
 both viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, teenagers would not go astray, if they prefer to take advice from
old
Suggestion
older
 masses while taking important decisions.
Thereason
Suggestion
The reason
 being, young individuals due to less exposure of
life
Use synonyms
 lack maturity, whereas old people can analyse
pros
Suggestion
the pros
 and cons of a particular task instantly.
For instance
Linking Words
, with the help of aged
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
person's
 children after 18 become able to choose
course
Suggestion
courses
 of their interest,
otherwise
Linking Words
 majority of them possess
herd mentality
Suggestion
the herd mentality
a herd mentality
 these days, which may lead to have detrimental effects on them. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, in modern time young people have been suffering from lack of patience, and
thus
Linking Words
 solely elderly people's teachings can inculcate
such
Linking Words
 values in them. It is undeniable that youngsters often try to give up on small
failures but
Accept comma addition
failures, but
 experienced persons' real
life
Use synonyms
 examples can make them
enable
(usually followed by 'to') not having the necessary means or skill or know-how
unable
 to understand failure is a stepping stone to success.To illustrate, if children come to know that their grandfathers became successful businessman or professionals after frequent trials and downfalls in their
life
Use synonyms
, they will get motivated and patient and will not drop their studies when remain unsuccessful.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, teenagers can raise their voice against orthodox thinking of elderly people since some of them still believe that girls should be confined in the four walls of home,
argument
Suggestion
the argument
 against
this
Linking Words
 is justifiable as per the conditions of today's era. Nowadays, certain parts of the world have been trying to create an egalitarian society,
wher
In or at or to what place
where
 women have equal right to that of men as they are studying in the same colleges as well as doing the same quality jobs that of males.
Consequently
Linking Words
, challenging old persons with stereotype thoughts is justifiable which in turn help young children to face the competitive globe.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sometimes grandparents try to impose strict discipline on their
grandchildren including
Accept comma addition
grandchildren, including
 stress on wearing traditional clothes not watching movies which
is
Suggestion
are
 a trend in the contemporary world. Eventually, children above 18 would challenge in
order to compete their
Suggestion
order to compete with their
agemates
an active and efficient cause; capable of producing a certain effect
agents
age mates
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some of the
gray
bright and pleasant; promoting a feeling of cheer
gay
 people still want to let their grandchildren follow bygone era customs, I strongly feel that one must move on their
footsteps particularly
Accept comma addition
footsteps, particularly
 in sensitive situations
,
Accept space
,
for they
have enrich
Suggestion
have enriched
experience
Suggestion
the experience
 of
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sarahasani1371 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wisdom
  • Experience
  • Mistakes
  • Guidance
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Status quo
  • Fresh ideas
  • Perspective
  • Advancements
  • Societal harmony
  • Respecting
  • Adhering to
  • Generational conflicts
  • Mutual understanding
  • Progress
  • Evolve
  • Customs
  • Question
  • Reform
  • Outdated
  • Concepts
  • Drive progress
  • Critically evaluate
  • Balance
  • Tradition
  • Embracing
What to do next:
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