IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #mobility
Technology has significantly changed the way we live and
work
.
For
instance it
Accept comma addition
instance, it
 has allowed many of us to have flexible
work
 hours. When we can have our data available in a cloud, we can
work
 pretty much from anywhere in the world. Some people believe that
this
 flexibility improves the quality of our life and
work
.
However
, in my opinion, working from
home
 has both benefits and drawbacks. One of the most important benefits of working from
home
 is the ability to spend more time with our loved ones. Some people argue that
this
 will boost the morale of employees and encourage them to give their best. Remote working
also
 benefits parents of very young children. A lot of women quit their jobs to take care of their children. If companies allow them to
work
 from their
home
, they can join the workforce again. Companies
also
 benefit when employees
work
 from their
home
. They can save money on office rentals and utility bills. On the flip side, remote working has its drawbacks too. Some people believe that having a nice workplace where people can
work
 together as a team and communicate closely is more beneficial than working from outside. I have a personal example
on
Suggestion
of
 how distance can interfere with
work
 outcomes. My boss travels a lot and sometimes I have a hard time meeting him. Once he asked me to prepare a presentation for a meeting we were going to have. As I started to
work
 on it, I found out that I had some questions and I couldn´t reach him to clarify my doubts. I finished my
work
 and
then
 weeks later, when he got back, I showed him my presentation and it was not what he wanted.
As a result
, I had to do it again, which was a waste of time. To conclude, there are both benefits and drawbacks to working from
home
. Flexible hours or freelancing is not for everyone;
however
, there are lots of employees who benefit from it.
Submitted by sawayejer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: