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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents
Some people in our world believe that legal bodies are mainly reasonable
for
Suggestion
to
 increase in overweight in children, while some other people think parents are responsible for
children
Suggestion
child
obesity
. In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 agree that both government and parents are equally responsible for
obesity
 in children.
This
 essay will look at the key features of how
government
Suggestion
the government
 and parents are responsible for their
child
obesity
.
Firstly
, governments while playing a major role in developing
civilization it
Accept comma addition
civilization, it
 has started to prepare academic curriculum which lacks extracurricular activities and sports
further
 making their physical fitness to null. Physical fitness and exercise play a major role in keeping a
child
 body and mind healthy and away from
obesity
.
However
, on the other side, governments are planning to commercialize by encouraging fast food centres and restaurants that attract children and making them consume oil and fat foods which gets accumulated in their body leading to
obesity
.
Secondly
, parents are
also
 considered to be responsible for
child
 overweight. Most of the parents
are preferring
Suggestion
prefer
 their
child
 to advance their mindset along with technology by providing them with mobile phones and laptops so as to become successful in future. Though it is
helful but
Accept comma addition
helpful, but
helpful but
 technology is making children to study and play at one single place and making them away from social activities, which is leading to major drawback in maintaining physical fitness leading to
obesity
. Overall, I would conclude that, If, both legal bodies and parents take a step to include and maintain physical
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 in their daily life and curriculum, it would lead to their children, a healthy environment and a positive impact on society.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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