1.Scientists have been warning for many years about environmental protection and how important it is to limit our personal energy consumption. What are the causes of overconsumption of electricity? How can people be encouraged to use less energy?
For many years, the importance of environmental protection
as well as
the limitation of our energy
consumption have been claimed by scientists. This
essay argues that the cause associated with electricity
overconsumption is the lack of awareness and suggests the surge in taxes on electricity
and the use of renewable energy
as reliable solutions.
It is conspicuous that a deficiency in knowledge of people is the prime cause of this
phenomenon.Indeed, electricity
is produced thanks to fossil fuel energy
.Factories that manufacture electricity
release, because of the usage of fossil energy
, toxic gases, such
as CO2, for our planet and our health. Indeed,the majority of the public doesn't know much about the whole process of the manufacture of this
priceless commodity.For that matter, awareness campaigns should be established through social media.Furthermore
, it could be effective to set up subjects at school that involve a certain environmental education in order to make youngsters knowledgeable about this
issue.
However
, there are solutions to overcome this
hurdle.In fact, the most reliable one would be the implementation of additional taxes on electricity
.In fact, in many countries, citizens don't care about their use of this
valuable energy
because of the fact that they can afford to get it easily.Another solution would be to find alternatives to this
"polluting" electricity
and try to manufacture an eco-friendly one, without using the classic process. In this
regard, some alternatives remain possible such
as wind turbines and solar panels allowing sustainable production, without harming our beloved planet.
In conclusion, the lack of knowledge is the main reason for the overuse of electricity
and the prime solution would be to set up an extra tax on electricity
additionally
to use an environmentally friendly way to produce it. Access to information has become so easy but people aren't conscious of the danger of damaging our environment .Submitted by namoisma on
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task response
Your essay provides a solid response to the task, but further explanations of why lack of awareness leads to overconsumption would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the flow of ideas is generally clear, smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them could improve coherence.
task response
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points about overconsumption and eco-friendly solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets the context effectively for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You presented a well-structured argument, addressing both causes and solutions.
task response
The essay includes valid points and ideas in response to the topic, displaying good understanding.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite