IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am a student living in the college accommodation, writing here to explain some difficulties I am facing about the arrangement
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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 and ask for possible assistance. Let me explain the situation I am having at the moment. I stay with another
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese

It appears that the word chinese may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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 student in a
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of 2, for the past month, I keep suffering from
various
Add an article
the various
a various

The noun phrase various move seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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move
Fix the agreement mistake
moves

It seems that move may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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him, including but not limited to playing games at late night loudly, putting smelly clothes everywhere, kept rotten food in the
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, etc.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my ability to perform well in lessons is weakened as I can barely sleep at night. The hygiene problem is a great concern as well, and it makes the
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 a horrible place to stay. I would like to request a single
room
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, so I can rest well at night and be well prepared for classes
at
Change preposition
during

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the day. Yours sincerely, Josephus Yang

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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