IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have discovered a lot of rubbish in a lake near where you live. In the past, the lake had always been clean. Write a letter to the local council. In the letter: · describe the type of rubbish that you saw in the lake · explain where you think the waste has come from · suggest what the council should do about the problem

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you about the problem I am noticing in a
lake
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 near my community, located in downtown Toronto. A
lake
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 used to be unpolluted, but now there is a large amount of litter.
Therefore
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, I would like to make some suggestions afterwards. To be more specific, first of all, I saw a lot of containers, cans, plastic bags, and drinking cups in a
lake
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while
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 I took a walk.
Additionally
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, many leaves fall from the trees into a
lake
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, making it dirty. The main reason for
this
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 issue is that nobody knew about a
lake
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 in the past, but now it is a famous tourist attraction. Many people regularly pass by, visit, take photos, and have picnics in a
lake
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. They always throw trash into the
lake
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 and do not take any responsibility for their behaviour. With that being said, I would suggest increasing the number of volunteers to tidy up a
lake
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 on a weekly basis.
Furthermore
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, it would
also
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 be great if you could impose some penalties on people on litter, resulting in increasing individuals' awareness. Yours faithfully, Annie

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task response
Task response: You answered all parts, but some ideas need more clear detail.
task response
Task response: The part about leaves does not fit the main problem well, because leaves are natural, not rubbish.
task response
Task response: Your tone is polite and right for a letter to the council, but some lines sound a bit too strong.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter is easy to follow and the order is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking words are not used in the best way. Try to make the flow more smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: A few phrases are repeated, like 'in a lake'. You can use 'the lake' or 'there' to sound more natural.
task response
Task response: You described the rubbish, gave a reason, and suggested actions.
task response
Task response: The purpose of your letter is clear from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You used a clear opening and closing.
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