IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Essay topics: As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#topics #inventions #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health
Several new electronic inventions in the 20th century were
computer
 and
television
. In the past, people had more activities and didn’t get their activities with high technologies. Nowadays, the inhabitants are very familiar with the technologies. In the developing countries, each other to compete and create new inventions which have a negative and positive effect in the future.
Computer
 and
television
 are used almost everybody in the
world
. It is hard to imagine what things would be like today without them. Everyone is using computers for business and pleasure. Computers are very helpful some people doing their jobs. Many offices, universities, schools, supermarkets and the other places need a
computer
. With
computer
, make people do many works easier, you can watch video, play games, and
also
 browsing the internet. Computers are
also
 used by medicine in the hospital. Now and in the future, medicine needs
computer
 technology to support their activity.
Television
 is one of the
entertain
Suggestion
entertains
 everyone who necessary to relax, laugh, and find news. Almost every householder in the
world
 has
television
. Every day people spend their free time with
television
 and it is already influencing human in the
world
. Sometimes they spend their leisure all day for lazy and make us body overweight.
Computer
 and
television
 have influenced and affected our everyday life. It is made inhabitants do less physical activity and
also
 make a tremendous impact on our lives.
Human
Suggestion
A human
 who
are
Suggestion
is
 always in front of the screen, will give bad effects to the body and eyes.
Body
Suggestion
The body
 will feel stiff muscles, and the eyes will feel irritation.
Also
, it’s made bad our healthy. In conclusion, I agree because people who often use computers and
television
 make people do less physical activity, and
this
 is having a negative effect on their health. Indeed, everybody in the
world
 needs a
computer
 and
television
.
However
, sometimes we are remembering that we must be to exercise before and after use it.
Submitted by thuyanhnanalge on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: