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Band 5.5

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #childhood #obesity #fault #parents
Obesity has become a huge problem now-a -days. Some people feel that the government is the
one
 to be blamed for childhood obesity, while the others are of the opinion that it is
responsibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
 of the parents. In
this
 essay I will analyse both the views before arriving at the reason conclusion. On
one
 hand, the parents have a very crucial role to prevent their kids from being obese. The parents are the
one
 who can directly explain and make a kid understand the value of
healthy lifestyle
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
. As
the
people in general
they
 have a busy schedule they tend to give liberty to their children to eat whatever they feel like and
as a result
 of
this
plural of that
those
these
 children becomes obese.
For example
, if a child keeps on eating his favourite
food pizza
Accept comma addition
food, pizza
 daily
then
 no doubt, being obese will be
one
 the consequences the child will face. The solution to
this
 is parents should make proper meals for the descendants and ensure they are eating healthy.
On the other hand
, the government can
also
 do their share
by
Suggestion
of
 making kids aware of the causes of
obese
Suggestion
obesity
 and how to prevent it. They can even regulate the
food
 companies to add nutrients in
food
 like chips, burger, chocolates etc.
This
 in turn will increase the prices of
such
foods
benefit
goods
 and simultaneously decrease its consumption.
For instance
, in the New York the state authority had enforced
such
 law a year ago, and now a survey conducted by the times reporter reveals that the New York has the least number of obese children as compared to other states of the United States. In conclusion, in my
opinion it
Accept comma addition
opinion, it
 is the responsibility of both, the parents and the government
to indulge
Suggestion
indulge
 the habit of eating healthy
food
 and fight the obesity.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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