At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Many countries now have a large population of young adults. While some people think that it is advantageous to have more young

generation

people, others are of the opinion that there should be

balance

Suggestion

a balance

between population of both the

generation

This

essay will analyse both the views before arriving at the reasoned conclusion.

Firstly

, talking about

advantages

Suggestion

the advantages

of having more young adults. There are several merits like

young

Suggestion

younger generations

younger generation

the younger generation

generation

are more creative and

productive which

Accept comma addition

productive, which

will lead to the growth of

nation

Suggestion

the nation

nations

in all the aspects like science, technology, business etc.

For instance

country

Suggestion

countries

a country

like India has a great number of young adults, companies here do not face any trouble searching for talented and skilled people for a job. In fact, different companies from around the globe come to India for recruitment. Young people are healthier and do not need to spend on

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

Also

, young people can adjust and can think rationally for

development

Suggestion

the development

country

Suggestion

the country

where as for old people handling change is difficult. There is some downside of having young adults as well. One of them are if the amount of employment in the country is very less as compared to young individuals is creates a huge problem. As these people require job for

living

Suggestion

a living

and can’t be depended on anyone.

For example

, India has a high rate of unemployment as there are

lot

Suggestion

a lot

lots

of people in 20 to 40 age group.

This

unemployment can even give rise to criminal activities. To conclude, when we see the positive aspect the young

generation

can bring to the society it is not difficult to say that the advantages of having young people overweight the disadvantages.

Submitted by simmah.kazi on Sun Oct 27 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

living in a country where you have a speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

You recently attended a metting at a hotel. When you retured home, you found you had left some important papenrs at the hotel. ●say where you think you left the papers ●explain why they are so important ●tell the manager what you want him/her to do