Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

While
modern
technology
has revolutionised the
world
significantly, some
people
argue that it is contributing to
form
Wrong verb form
forming
show examples
a homogeneous
world
culture. I partly disagree with the above idea as modern
technology
allows us to interact with
people
from different cultural backgrounds and makes us realise and appreciate our own unique
cultures
.
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
show examples
technologies
such
as
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, television and mobile phones allow a wider connection and sharing of information among
people
all around the
world
.
This
may mean that many
people
follow the same trend and share interests, and
people
are more likely to be influenced by the dominant,
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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cases, western
cultures
.
For example
, a number of young Japanese
people
listen to
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
music
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and follow a fashion trend that originates from
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
celebrities. If
people
overly admire foreign
cultures
and ignore their own traditions and
cultures
, it may be possible that the
world
becomes a single culture.
Nonetheless
,
people
are more aware of their own
cultures
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and appreciate
the
Change the word
their
show examples
uniqueness. In fact,
people
travel to see different
cultures
, enjoy local cuisine, and learn foreign languages, and it is the modern
technology
that makes it easy to do these activities.
While
interacting with
people
from different countries,
people
actually realise the uniqueness of their own
cultures
.
For instance
, I have learnt a lot about my own country ever since I have lived outside of my country.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
are interested in other
cultures
and I was asked many questions. I would have not been
proud
Rephrase
as proud
show examples
of my own country as much as I
do
Verb problem
am
show examples
now if I had not lived
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas. In conclusion,
although
some
people
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
that modern
technology
leads to a
single
Add a hyphen
single-world
show examples
world
culture, I believe that it assists in connecting
people
around the
world
and sharing different
cultures
while
appreciating their own traditions.

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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, presenting both agreement and disagreement. Ensure your arguments are more balanced in addressing different aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.

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