Question : some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in countryside. What problem does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some of
Add an article
the youngestes
show examples
youngestes
Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngest
are moving away from rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
leaving old
people
Use synonyms
behind.
While
Linking Words
at least three negative consequences could result from
this
Linking Words
situation, some straightforward measures can be adopted to alleviate them. The problems posed by the migration of young
people
Use synonyms
are manifold. Perhaps the major issue we need
takle
Verb problem
to deal
show examples
with is the negative impacts on
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
status of the
countryside
Use synonyms
. Young
people
Use synonyms
play an important role in available force labour in these
areas
Use synonyms
as they are more suitable than older ones for jobs demanding
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
or involving new
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
Besides
Linking Words
, they
constituet
Correct your spelling
constitute
the majority of workers in the
countryside
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many sectors including farming and industry might run into
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with
force
Replace the word
forced
show examples
labour.
This
Linking Words
situation would decrease the output of them, and
as a result
Linking Words
, it would put these
areas
Use synonyms
in economic depression. A second challenge is increasing the cost of health services. Many of
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
aduts
Correct your spelling
adults
in the
countryside
Use synonyms
live with their
children
Use synonyms
or even
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
live
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
take care of them. Without their
children
Use synonyms
, the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
are responsible
of
Change the preposition
for
show examples
taking care of old
people
Use synonyms
. In fact, the authorities should pay money to nurses and improve
infrastuctures
Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
like health centres and hospitals.
Finally
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
may suffer from psychiatric disorders.
This
Linking Words
population usually tend to spend time in their family, rely on their
children
Use synonyms
and in fact, they are tied to younger
people
Use synonyms
. If
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
member of their family
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
to cities, they would get mentally ill.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a
number
Use synonyms
of effective remedies must be implemented to tackle these issues.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
key step would be providing an incentive for young
people
Use synonyms
to stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
countryside
Use synonyms
. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should expand infrastructures
such
Linking Words
as mall shops, entertainment centres, public transportation and hospitals in these
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
may lead to an increase in
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of life of
yeoung
Correct your spelling
young
people
Use synonyms
and
therefore
Linking Words
, they would be willing to stay
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
countryside
Use synonyms
. A
further
Linking Words
step could be attracting habitates of urban
areas
Use synonyms
to live in the
countryside
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
young adults, prefer to live in places allowing them to
seve
Correct your spelling
save
money on
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of living. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
could subsidize
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
meets of
people
Use synonyms
including fuel, housing and education.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
approach may
recover
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
of young individuals in these
areasover
Correct your spelling
areas
the time and prevent
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
places from facing
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
relating
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
migrations of
yooung
Correct your spelling
young
adults. By way of
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, decreasing the
number
Use synonyms
of young
people
Use synonyms
in the
countryside
Use synonyms
may lead to an economic depression in these
areas
Use synonyms
, overspending
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
care budget and increasing the
number
Use synonyms
of old
people
Use synonyms
suffering from
mentall
Correct your spelling
mental
diseases. but
this
Linking Words
situation could be addressed by getting
appraches
Correct your spelling
approaches
to improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of life of young
people
Use synonyms
living in the
countryside
Use synonyms
and to attract inhabitants of urban
areas
Use synonyms
involved.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
In the introduction, ensure clarity and accuracy in phrasing. For example, consider rephrasing to 'some young people are leaving rural areas to live in cities and towns, leaving mainly older generations behind.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'youngstes', 'constitut', 'seperately', 'goverments', 'infrastuctures', 'habitates', 'yeoung', and 'coclusion'. Proofreading your work can help eliminate these issues and enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
When discussing the problems, aim for clearer transitions between points. For instance, use phrases like 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore,' to enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, when discussing economic depression, you could cite specific sectors affected, or provide examples of successful rural development initiatives.
Task Achievement
You successfully identified multiple problems resulting from young people leaving the countryside, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing problems and solutions, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: