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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
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These days some countries got a large
rate
Use synonyms
 of young adults comparing with the ration of old people. The question is, is that a good thing or it has a bad effect on the society? In
this
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 essay will discuss both sides and will draw my own conclusion.
In
Suggestion
With
 one hand, young adults can help developing their countries because of their power and of their fresh ideas.
For instance
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, after the
second
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 world war in 1945. Germany was 60 per cent destroyed, but because of the young adults and their motivation of hard working they have built their
country
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 in a very fast period, and today Germany is on the top best ten countries on
this
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 planet.
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Hence the
Accept comma addition
Hence, they
Hence they
 believe that young adults
is
Suggestion
are
such
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 a valuable tool in every
country
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.
On the other hand
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, increasing the
rate
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 of population
to
Suggestion
of
in
 any
country
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 can lead to many problems.
Firstly
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, it will be no enough jobs for all the young adults, which will
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
 the
rate
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 of the unemployment ratio, and
that is
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 happening in many countries of the Middle-East. Sometimes that will encourage the young adults to migrate from their
country
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 to Europe in chance to find a job there. In terms of disadvantage, the
rate
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 of the unemployment people in Syria is 42 per cent, almost all of them are young adults. It is known now that the young Syrian adults out of Syria are more than there in the
country
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.
That is
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 because of their large number of them. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both views, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
In other words
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, nothing is worse than leaving your
country
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 to work out.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
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