IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages ?

#museums #charge #admission #people #outweighthe #diadvantages
There are a lot of museums that are charging a fee for admission where others are not.
In
addition I
Accept comma addition
addition, I
personaly
as yourself
personally
 can say that people will choose to go and see a museum if is free of charge as they will
preffer
like better; value more highly
prefer
 to keep the money and buy other things with them. As an
example I
Accept comma addition
example, I
 can say that
famillies
a social unit living together
families
 with more children will go and visit a free charge museum
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 going to a museum where to have to pay. The money that they do not spend they can buy a snack for the children or other things.
On the other
hand there
Accept comma addition
hand, there
 are people that think that the museums where is a fee to pay, there are more thinks to see and are places that are more
intresting
arousing or holding the attention
interesting
, is not
allways
at all times; all the time and on every occasion
always
 true.
Furthermore I
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, I
 personally
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 that most of the museums
shoud
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
 be free of charge as in that way more and more people can visit and enjoy more places and even learn more about culture and history.
Such
 as, there are more schools that
are taking pupils
Suggestion
pupils are taking
to
Suggestion
on
 trips so they can see and start enjoying the museums and make the
courious
beyond or deviating from the usual or expected
curious
cross
chorus
 about the past.
Moreover
, there are people that think that the
entrace
something that provides access (to get in or get out)
entrance
entries
entrails
 of the museums should be free at least for people till 18 years old. Overall, people
shoud
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
 visit more often the
museums even
Accept comma addition
museums, even
 if they are free or not.
Submitted by alina_mateescu82 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: