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Band 5

Traditional medicine is more benefits than modern medicine

#medicine
Healthcare is the
sustainer
Suggestion
Sustainer
 of human lives and the origin of medicine came from traditional ways of healing people from different forms of diseases.
However
, with modern technology, new ways of treating patients has been developed, the reason why drugs today are more effective than the past.
This
 essay will address the reasons why recent breakthroughs in healthcare is better than it was in the olden days.
Firstly
, newly developed tablets have proven to cure diseases faster than it did previously as they are produced under better hygiene conditions when compared with those of the past.
For example
, paracetamol, a drug for the treatment of headache is far more reliable to cure pains in the body in recent times when compared with the ones produced about ten years ago.
This
 has shown that there are better ways to get the best out of the herbs used to heal
pains
Suggestion
pain
 in
this
 era unlike in the past where they were not properly produced.
Secondly
, the issue of dosage and description. Healthcare professionals - doctors and pharmacist are properly trained to understand the quantity and duration of a dosage to be taken by the sick in order to recover fully.
For example
, when a doctor prescribes a medicine, the pharmacist writes it out for the
user including
Accept comma addition
user, including
 details
such
 as number of days, scheduled timings and possibly storage conditions.
This
 has helped sick people
to recover
Suggestion
recover
 within the specified
period unlike
Accept comma addition
period, unlike
 in the past where there are no dosages nor periods to use drugs and the users cannot be sure of when they will recover. We would all agree that breakthrough in new ways of producing drugs has helped to sustain lives, help reduce drug abuse, and added
tremedous
extraordinarily large in size or extent or amount or power or degree
tremendous
 benefits to the society so as to reduce human mortality rate.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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