IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving school at 16 or 18 to work instead of going to university?

#school #work #university
Some young people prefer to leave
school
 at 16 or 18 to get a
job
. Most of them find the jobs as cleaners, porters or sellers. They can make money to
live but
Accept comma addition
live, but
 they must work for a long time
everyday
Suggestion
every day
. I think it’s necessary to go to
university
 after leaving
school
. The
professers
the highest ranking position for a university academic
professors
professor
 in
university
 would
teacher
Suggestion
teach
 them many knowledges
such
 as how to use the computer to work for
job
Suggestion
a job
the job
jobs
 not only play the games. And they can
study
 how to draw, how to design,
enven
used as an intensive especially to indicate something unexpected
even
 how to make a
robbort
a mechanism that can move automatically
robot
report
rabbit
. After they finished the
study
 in
university
, usually
tehy
people in general
they
 can get a better
job
 more easily. Many students thought it was harder to
study
 in
university
. But
mabey
by chance
maybe
 they would feel even
more harder
Suggestion
harder
 to get the
job
 after
school
. So more and more people prefer to
study
 in
university
 after they finish their
school
.
Submitted by alicebbarnett on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: