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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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It is argued that man and woman living more years and think that the retired
age
Use synonyms
 of those people should be increased. I personally believe that increasing
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
age
Use synonyms
sholud
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
 be effective on the country's economy and
rise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
 the
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy of the people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, increasing
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
age
Use synonyms
have
Suggestion
has
 wide implications on the country's economy. In job sections senior people have more experiences to solve a critical problem, while new employee's can not able to take a significant decision.
For instance
Linking Words
, Oxford university published a
servey
consider in a comprehensive way
survey
 that senior employee's who are more than 50 years old they can take important decision immediately than the new employee's. When people
works
Suggestion
work
 in a field for a long
Use synonyms
time
Accept comma addition
time, then
then
Linking Words
 they have more knowledge of different sectors. So, increasing
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
age
Use synonyms
 should be economically beneficial for the public or private organizations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, limited
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
age
Use synonyms
 can affect the
life
Use synonyms
 of
retired person
Suggestion
retired people
retired persons
a retired person
. Since people living
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
Use synonyms
 after their
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
 and they required more money as like as their salary to live solvent
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 service holder of Bangladesh
get
Suggestion
gets
small amount
Suggestion
a small amount
 of pension after
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
. The amount of pension is not enough to live as wealthy and faces different problem for the cost of
life
Use synonyms
. People past lazy
time
Use synonyms
 after
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
 and suffer several diseases.
Hence
Linking Words
, working for a long
time
Use synonyms
 increases
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy of the people. To sum up,
Use synonyms
retiredment
the state of being retired from one's business or occupation
retirement
age
Use synonyms
 can be
rised
located or moved above the surround or above the normal position
raised
reused
 according to the average
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy
age
Use synonyms
 of the people of a country. Increasing
Use synonyms
retiredment
Suggestion
the retirement age
retirement age
age
Use synonyms
give
Suggestion
gives
 a chance to work of experience person in so many departments.
Submitted by mtemanik on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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