IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #funds #service
Some people believe that spending money to develop arts,
music
 and theatre
is
Suggestion
are
 unnecessary. I completely disagree with
this
 thought. The reasons to encourage these skills are the positive effects they have on the society and its people.
To begin
 with the
sociocultural
 side, most of the human history has artefacts related to creative skills
such
 as
art
 and
music
 because they are an essential form of expression. By ignoring them, we are erasing all the possibilities of passing on our knowledge of culture and civilisation to future generations.
This
 knowledge is a bridge between older and younger generations which keeps them connected.
For example
, the primitive cave drawings which are an
art
 form, have created knowledge among Millenials about
the early
Suggestion
the earliest
 humans.
In addition
, it is proven that learning these creative skills helps to develop patience and concentration.So, learning them not only helps the person in
art
, but
also
 his creativity will expand to other parts of his life which will help him succeed in any other profession. A recent study in the The United States shows that the children who learn a musical instrument are more focused when compared to others.
However
, it is a governmental responsibility to serve the public, but, discouraging the arts,
music
 and theatre cannot be a solution.
Instead
, in the best interest of its citizens, there should be a balance between investing in services and creative skills. In conclusion, the idea that government should not finance creative skills
such
 as
art
,
music
 and theatre is not practical. In fact, considering all the benefits that they offer, the government should take up more initiatives towards their development for the betterment of people and society.
Submitted by mrudula.dwi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: