The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
On
this
tablet
Add a comma
,tablet
show examples
we see information about what vehicle most
kids
used
in
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apply
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
between 5-12 in
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
period
1990
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between 1990
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and 2010. Mostly we could see that in 1990
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
popular
way
was walking with
bit
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a bit
show examples
more
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
12
million
kids
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
it to walk
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their trips,
then
bus
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the bus
show examples
was nowhere near popular with only 6.5
million
users. Cycling and walking and
bus
was much more popular
compare
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compared
show examples
to 2010 with
near
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nearly
show examples
6
million
user
Change to a plural noun
users
show examples
each. In 2010 children mostly start to go
in
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to
show examples
school
with a car passenger,
enormous
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an enormous
the enormous
show examples
number of 11
million
young pupils. Much more
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
it was in 1990 with just a little bit more than 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
passengers
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
cars. Walking become much less popular with 6
million
trips per year only.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to travel towards
school
such
as
Bus
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buses
show examples
and walking and
then
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
become
less
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a less
the less
show examples
recognisable
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to transport
kids
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
,with only 4.5 and 2.5
million
kids
ever
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
it yearly. Cycling almost died in 2010 with hardly any
kids
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
that
way
. Only 2
million
kids
used
this
transport as a
way
to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
show examples
we can see rapid growth in Car usage in 2010 and
horrible
Correct article usage
a horrible
show examples
decline in walking. As others
way
of transport
also
greatly suffered from
popularisation
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the popularisation
show examples
of cars. Only
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
stayed mostly
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
way
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but too was buckled up with car passengers with a near 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children less comparable toward 1990. YWYAYWYAYWYAWYWYAYAWYWYWAYWAYYWAAYWYYAWYAWYAYYWYAWYYAWYAWYYAW

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words kids, way, million, bus, school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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