IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport
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On
this
Linking Words
tablet
Add a comma
,tablet
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 we see information about what vehicle most
kids
Use synonyms
 used
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 between 5-12 in
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 period
1990
Change preposition
between 1990
show examples
 and 2010. Mostly we could see that in 1990
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular
way
Use synonyms
 was walking with
bit
Add an article
a bit
show examples
 more
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 12
million
Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 it to walk
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their trips,
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 was nowhere near popular with only 6.5
million
Use synonyms
 users. Cycling and walking and
bus
Use synonyms
 was much more popular
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to 2010 with
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 6
million
Use synonyms
user
Change to a plural noun
users
show examples
 each. In 2010 children mostly start to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 with a car passenger,
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
the enormous
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 number of 11
million
Use synonyms
 young pupils. Much more
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 it was in 1990 with just a little bit more than 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 passengers
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 cars. Walking become much less popular with 6
million
Use synonyms
 trips per year only.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to travel towards
school
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
Bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and walking and
then
Linking Words
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 become
less
Add an article
a less
the less
show examples
 recognisable
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to transport
kids
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Use synonyms
,with only 4.5 and 2.5
million
Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
 ever
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 it yearly. Cycling almost died in 2010 with hardly any
kids
Use synonyms
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 that
way
Use synonyms
. Only 2
million
Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
 used
this
Linking Words
 transport as a
way
Use synonyms
 to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Use synonyms
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 we can see rapid growth in Car usage in 2010 and
horrible
Correct article usage
a horrible
show examples
 decline in walking. As others
way
Use synonyms
 of transport
also
Linking Words
 greatly suffered from
popularisation
Add an article
the popularisation
show examples
 of cars. Only
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 stayed mostly
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
way
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but too was buckled up with car passengers with a near 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 children less comparable toward 1990. YWYAYWYAYWYAWYWYAYAWYWYWAYWAYYWAAYWYYAWYAWYAYYWYAWYYAWYAWYYAW

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kids, way, million, bus, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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