Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

These

days many

Accept comma addition

days, many

people believe that those who have academic qualifications are successful and being a good student is the only way to succeed.

However

, I do not agree with

this

view because there are several factors in practical

life

which determine the accomplishment of an individual. I think requirements to become successful is hard working.

To begin

, many educational institutes are still following the old-fashioned and outdated methods of teaching;

Therefore

the creativity of many students does not flourish.

Additionally

, students' talent is not assessed by schools. The only thing

that is

considered is their grade.

Consequently

, many students drop out.

Thus

, it is evident that if a person fails in school, it cannot be a sign of intellectual weakness.

On the other hand

it indicates some students are not able to benefit from conventional methods of learning. There are

also

many students who fail in school because they have the passion for doing something other than education.

For instance

, many athletes were not interested in study, but when they recognized their talent they succeeded in

life

. Plus, they may be good at singing, painting or trading. To be successful in

life

, one needs to possess some skills and personal traits.

For example

, one of the most valuable things is persistent effort. A person must have the right attitude, determination and willingness to work hard.

Furthermore

, have some academic certificate increase their chances of success.

Although

education could have a positive effect, without hard work and perseverance no one can achieve success in

life

. In conclusion, failure in school does not mean that people cannot become successful in

life

. Academic background could certainly improve a person's chance of achievement

Accept space

but it is not the only reason for being successful. There are many important factors

such

as hard working on a regular basis.

Submitted by solmazk639 on Thu Oct 31 2019

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.

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