IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that government should spend money to promote arts as compared to other section such as health care and education. Discuss your opinion.

#people #government #money #arts #section #health #care #education
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Art
Use synonyms
 is a way to describe ideas and feeling.
Use synonyms
Government
Suggestion
The government
 collected revenue from
public
Suggestion
the public
 through the taxation system. Some individuals feel that
government
Use synonyms
 must spend money on arts for promoting as compared to other section
such
Linking Words
 as health care and education system. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will enunciate both the views in
upcoming paragraphs
Suggestion
the upcoming paragraphs
. To embark with, it is generally accepted that
art
Use synonyms
 is the way to express the ideas and communicate concepts. The
government
Use synonyms
 is responsible
to
Suggestion
for
 promoting culture. People
can be learn
Suggestion
can learn
can be learnt
can be learned
 from
arts
Suggestion
the arts
 and get inspired for it.
Art
Use synonyms
encourage
Suggestion
encourages
 creativity and promote harmony in society. Arts teaches people about their own culture. Without
government
Use synonyms
 funding some artists would not be able to work. Most artists do not make enough money to supporting themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Art
Use synonyms
 does not play vital role in society. Artists should earn their own living. Funding could be better granted to more pressing social issues.
Health care system
Suggestion
The health care system
 needs more funds than the
art
Use synonyms
. Education should be prioritised over
arts
Suggestion
the arts
. People basic needs should be put before luxury goods
such
Linking Words
 as
art
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 should not spend money to promote only
art
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also they
Accept comma addition
Also, they
 should
investing
Suggestion
invest
 in
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 section
such
Linking Words
 as health care and education. Because arts
does not play
Suggestion
do not play
 vital role in society.
Submitted by ramrattu966 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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