IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #parents #time #work #children #support
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In the recent
time
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 it has been seen that parents are busy with their work place’s responsibilities so they do not have enough
time
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 to spend with children which has a devastating impacts on their offspring. In my opinion, passing more quality
time
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 with
younger member
Suggestion
younger members
a younger member
 of the family
will flourish their
Suggestion
will flourish in their
 psychological development as well as their nutritional foundation
of
Suggestion
for
 the future.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I believe that, in the childhood offspring’s psychological improvement depends on their parent’s lesson because
on
Suggestion
of
in
at
about
by
 that
time
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 parent are the sole teacher for their education. If parents provide more
time
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 they can support them in difficult situations and help them to learn how to face the
unfavorable
not encouraging or approving or pleasing
unfavourable
 situations.
For instance
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, children may upset for the failure in the exam so parent can make them understand do not be broken heart, identify their
week
wanting in physical strength
weak
 points and tell them how to strengthen these portions which take lots of
time
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.
In addition
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 to the importance of psychology,
nutrition development
Accept comma addition
nutrition, development
also
Linking Words
 has
lifelong impact
Suggestion
a lifelong impact
 on toddlers. Certainly children try to consume food that are unhealthy, like chocolate, ice cream, junk food,
Linking Words
however parents
Accept comma addition
however, parents
 with more
time
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prevent
Suggestion
prevents
 them, tell
them the
Accept comma addition
them, the
 adverse effects and
advice
give advice to
advise
 them the benefits of taking healthy and nutritious foods. Even though pupils maintain
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of responsibilities on the pace of life, but work-life balance is pivotal for the future generation. In my opinion, parents would provide more
time
Use synonyms
 at the early stage of their son or daughter and share things with them in
friendly manner
Suggestion
a friendly manner
 which help them to absorb good manner and to deny unlawful things. By way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I am of the opinion that, more quality
time
Use synonyms
 with offspring will make them more productive, intelligent and fittest for the future adverse situations.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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