IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain while others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #films #value
People's opinions differ as to whether the movies are merely for entertainment purpose or it should it
also
 have educational contents. I am,
however
, of the opinion that films should only be directed for recreation. People who watch movies tend to remember its contents more vividly which is why if films have educational contents, it might be remembered for a long time. As an example In, In case of students, when they watch
this
 media that have academic contents
such
 as Troy and Pearl
harborHarbor
, it will easily be remembered due to its vibrant and vivid scenes.
Consequently
, students will possibly have
better understanding
Suggestion
a better understanding
 of these historical events which might aid them in educational
endeavors
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavours
.
On the other hand
, I believe that movies are aimed to entertain individuals for two main reasons.
Firstly
,
mostly
Suggestion
most
 people have a hobby of watching new
movies particularly
Accept comma addition
movies, particularly
 with their friends and family. When friends or family gather around, they
are most likely go
Suggestion
are most likely going
most likely go
have most likely gone
 to the cinema or gather around to watch a movie on Netflix, which means that movies are the best form of entertainment.
Furthermore
, employees often watch movies to relieve stress and anxiety which
is
Suggestion
are
 mostly due to the heavy workload in their office. These people watch movies to stave off stress and
relax which
Accept comma addition
relax, which
 is the main purpose of films. In conclusion, while movies may have some educational contents in order to make a long lasting impact of remembering contents, I believe that its only aim is to entertain individuals not only due the popularity as a recreational activity among friends and relatives but
also
 a way to relieve stress among individuals.
Submitted by mic.jan.thomas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: