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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the expenditure on various categories of entertainment in three continents Asia, Europe and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States over a
five- year
Correct your spelling
five-year
show examples
 period from 1995 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the
beginning
Add a comma
,beginning
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 the amount spent on television and publishing was fluctuating, but throughout the period they were the highest source of entertainment.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the least money was expended on cinema and video in all the continents. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asia a total of 67
units
Use synonyms
 was expended on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amusement with television and publishing being the highest and cash spent on video and cinema
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 the least.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000 the sum
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased rapidly by almost 43units with a rise of about
20units
Correct your spelling
20 units
 paid out on music when compared to the former year.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe,
97units
Correct your spelling
97 units
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the grand total squandered on leisure,
while
Linking Words
 a sharp expansion of
34units
Correct your spelling
34 units
 (
131units
Correct your spelling
131 units
)
on
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a whole was splurged on relaxation by 2000.
Finally
Linking Words
, the United
Stated
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 was disbursing the highest amount from the beginning till the end
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 contrast to Asia and Europe with 184
units
Use synonyms
 in 1995 and has crossed 250
units
Use synonyms
 in five years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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