IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the coming of new mass communication media like television and internet, newspaper is losing its importance. Do you agree with this or not?

#mass #communication #media #television #internet #newspaper #importance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Finding family history has many benefits.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is a kind of self discovery, which means, they could get a better understanding of their family history and ancestors.
Additionally
Linking Words
, due to the advent of science and technology,
this
Linking Words
 assists to find out the possibility of running any hereditary disorders through the family. If any disorders find,
this
Linking Words
 can be either managed or prevented effectively, before it becomes fatal.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 helps to find out those who are long lost from the family roots and later reunite with them.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is clear that
this
Linking Words
 mapping of family details brings a lot of information, which can be useful in personal level as well as professional level. The negative impact of searching family history is that, sometimes family members come across hidden, ugly truth which may be deleteriously affected the entire family.
This
Linking Words
 can spoil family relationships, unless they do not know how to handle
such
Linking Words
 situation if they encounter.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 tracing is an expensive procedure; usability of
this
Linking Words
 information in the medical field is limited, since genetic science needs to grow
further
Linking Words
. Chances of getting hereditary diseases in their lifetime
is
Suggestion
are
 extremely rare In many countries factory farming is a growing industry.
However
Linking Words
, many think that
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
condition
Suggestion
the condition
 of livestocks is extremely pathetic, which means they may be placed in a cramped
cages
Suggestion
cage
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these animals may be administered with both steroids and antibiotics to
enhace
increase
enhance
 the production.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can
increa
make oneself subject to; bring upon oneself; become liable to
incur
increase
 Factory farming
is effective method
Suggestion
is an effective method
 because
this
Linking Words
 can
incease
become bigger or greater in amount
increase
 production greatly.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 a cost effective method of farming
se
perceive by sight or have the power to perceive by sight
See
So
Se
 the production in a large amount, but
this
Linking Words
 can have many health hazards to mankind in a long run.
This
Linking Words
 means consumers become resistant to antibiotics;
this
Linking Words
 is a deadly situation.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: