Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is thought by some that urging children to abandon their family

home

at an early

age

is beneficial.Others believe that it is better if they stay longer with their families. In my opinion staying longer has many advantages. There are several reasons why people might argue that leaving at an early

age

is helpful for youngsters.

Firstly

, they learn some new skills which are the dispensable part of living alone.

For example

cooking, which is inevitable in each

home

Secondly

, they have to pay their living expenses as they are responsible for it by their own. In doing so, they must apply their knowledge that they have learned to find an appropriate job.

Finally

, if they leave their family

home

at an early

age

, it will reduce the financial burden of their parents who might be on the verge of retirement. In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that staying with parents more longer is beneficial. The main benefit is that they will be protected by their parents. They are in danger as they are not wise enough to be able to distinguish between people who really like them or people who want to deceive them. Another reason for

this

opinion is that parent are powerful resources of experiences and transferring these precious experiences needs time. If children stay longer there will be more time to grab these opportunities and learn them. The

last

but not the least is parent’s needs that ignoring them is not fair. Children can be helped hands in some affairs and supporting their parents is more probable when they are near their families. Having considered both sides of the issue, I would argue that the advantages of staying longer with parents outweigh the benefits of leaving at an early

age

This

is because the supportive, secure and nurturing environment of

home

can result in children who are more successful.

Submitted by salari.atena on Tue Nov 05 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

318 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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