IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree?

#children #money
Saving
money
 was taught to be a part of growing up
in
Suggestion
with
 children in the past in comparison to those who more easily spend now. In recent years, children find it easier to spend on things they want to buy.
This
 reason can be influenced by many factors
such
 as television commercials and peer pressure. Parents need to teach their children different ways of saving from a younger age and make them understand the importance of it
,
Accept space
,
this
 will help them in the future.
For example
, I remember growing up having a piggy bank where I collected
money
 for a period of three months I would start collecting every penny I got.During the end of
this
 period, I would be so excited and look forward to the day that I could use the
money
 and buy something I really wanted.
This
 habit made me realize the importance of saving. It
also
 helped me become more patient as well as to understand the value of what I bought. Since I understood the importance of saving, it helped me save and budget when I had to be independent. Youngsters need to understand the difference between ‘wants and needs’ before spending,
this
 teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should positively encourage and educate children to make
right choices
Suggestion
the right choices
 of spending on the important needs. Children in poorer countries can’t afford to even spend on average needs like water
,
Accept space
,
food
,
Accept space
,
books and clothes. To conclude, our children need to learn to spend wisely and make smart choices rather than blindly spending
money
 on things that are not important long term. I agree with
this
 essay that children in the past were taught to be wise with their spending and were encouraged ways to save when compared to
recent times
Suggestion
the recent times
.
Submitted by sarahmbawa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: