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Band 3.5

parents usually mothers stay at home to look after their family. people believe they should receive a salary from the government for that. do you agree or disagree?

#parents #mothers #home #people #salary #government
women
Suggestion
Women
 often leave their career behind for the
up bringing
properties acquired during a person's formative years
upbringing
 of their children and look after the elder members of the family.
this
Suggestion
This
 is in
debate
Suggestion
a debate
the debate
 that stay-at-home mothers must be financially
assist
Suggestion
assisted
assisting
 from the
government
 to look after their kids. I completely disagree with
tht
pointing out something
that
 because, it can put a tremendous burden on
nation's economy
Suggestion
the nation's economy
 and can
demotivate
 working ladies.
To begin
 with, any monetary assistance to women who give up their job can influence the country's budget badly.
For instance
, countries like Pakistan and India are struggling with the poverty and scarcity.
Government
 should provide employment and basic
neccessities
the condition of being essential or indispensable
necessities
instead
 of providing funds to the stay-at-home mother.
Moreover
, those women who have quit their jobs just to look after their children receives money from
government
Suggestion
the government
 can negatively impact other working women.
Hence
, they all will resign from their jobs that will eventually
ends
Suggestion
end
 up
on
Suggestion
in
government
 to provide financial aids to all of them.
Thus
, providing wages to a mother who stay at home is not a good approach. To sum up,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should provide health insurance and medical assistance to those households who are staying at home for the better
up bringing
properties acquired during a person's formative years
upbringing
 of their child. But, providing and financing them with aids will not be a good idea because,
country
Suggestion
the country
 could suffer a lot by
this
 act. And, it is
also
 not in favour of working
women
Accept comma addition
women, therefore
therefore
, it can
demotivate
 them.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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