IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree

#children #money
While saving money was taught to be a part of growing up among children in the past
,
Accept space
,
children now more easily spend.The essay agrees
,
Accept space
,
that children in the past were taught to be wise with their spending and were encouraged different ways to save when compared to those now. In recent years, children find it easier to spend on things they want to buy. There are many reasons influencing them to do so. Some factors
such
 as television commercials and peer pressure are more common now. Parents need to teach their children different ways of saving from a younger age, help them understand the importance as it will help them in the future. As an example growing up, I remember having a piggy bank to collect money.I would start collecting every penny I got rather than just spending it on candy.During the end of
this
 period, I would get so excited and look forward to the day I could use the cash to buy something I really wanted.
This
 habit made me realize the importance of saving. It
also
 helped me become more patient as well as to understand the value of things. Since I understood the importance of saving, it helped me save
,
Accept space
,
budget and spend wisely when I had to be independent. Youngsters need to understand the difference between ‘wants and needs’ before spending,
this
 teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should positively encourage and educate children to make correct choices of spending on important needs. Children in poorer countries
such
 as Africa can’t afford to even spend on basic average needs like water
,
Accept space
,
food
,
Accept space
,
books and clothes. Parents play a vital role in helping children develop and practice these invaluable habits. Once these habits are practiced children tend to have a better judgement before spending carelessly. To conclude, our children need to learn to spend wisely and make smart choices rather than blindly spending money on things that are not important long term.
Submitted by sarahmbawa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: