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Writing Samples
Band 4

Few countries think that people at the age greater than 30 can do things like vote for country, marriage, getting driving license etc… while most of the country oppose. What do you think?

#countries #people #age #vote #country #marriage #license #etc…
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Most of the countries think that people should do matured things like voting, marriage, getting driving license
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
… at 30.Whereas, few countries think, a little younger
age
Use synonyms
 would be better.I totally agree with the way that few countries think. When people are allowed to do these matured things at
a
Suggestion
an
age
Use synonyms
 below 30, they are in a situation to get into the world without the help of their parents. These experiences make them matured in their ideas and thoughts.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 gives knowledge to select their own career, life partner
etc
Suggestion
… They become smart enough to survive in society, tackling all the odds to achieve beyond boundaries. Allowing them to do these things, make them more responsible at a younger
age
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
instance if
Accept comma addition
instance, if
 a 19
years
Suggestion
year
 old person is allowed to vote, he will definitely know the current political situation of his country. So having knowledge on these things, he would do the better things a citizen could contribute
for
Suggestion
to
 the country’s development. Many countries think that people may go astray, if they are allowed to do these things at a younger
age
Use synonyms
. But
connotations
Suggestion
the connotations
 of it would be they won’t be ready to face challenges on their own, unable to make right decisions in critical situations. And
Linking Words
finally when
Accept comma addition
finally, when
 they regret for their mistakes, they won’t be able to solve it. Because he may not have
age
Use synonyms
 to correct it. If you ask me? People at
younger
Suggestion
a younger age
age
Use synonyms
 should make their own decisions from 18 not later at 30.
This
Linking Words
 decision making happens only when they are allowed to do these matured things at a younger
age
Use synonyms
 and not exactly at 30.Considering the detrimental effects of doing matured things at 30
,
Accept space
,
I think the way that the few countries think was right (
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.e.,) doing these things at a younger
age
Use synonyms
 before 30.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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