Some people say that educational success depends mostly on a good teacher. Others say it depends on the attitude of the student. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is said by some individuals that academic excellence is dependent solely on an excellent tutor. Others believe that it is dependent on the behaviour of the student.
Although
good instructors should introduce the course curriculum in an interesting manner, I believe
students
ought to be dedicated to studying in
other
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order
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that they attain success in their education. Excellent teachers should introduce the course curriculum in an interesting manner. Meaning the instructors ought to tutor these
students
in a way that they develop
interest
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an interest
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in the course. If a topic is not taught interestingly with humour, the
students
might lose the zeal to study.
While
in secondary school, my Geography teacher was extremely boring and he made me dislike the subject.
Therefore
, when tutors introduce subject
outline
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outlines
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in a fascinating way, it enables the
students
enjoy
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to enjoy
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the subject and in turn, have a mastering of it for their future endeavours.
Although
this
view is cogent, I disagree with it.
On the other hand
,
students
who are dedicated
in
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to
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their studies will achieve academic excellence.
In other words
, they will obtain good grades. Attending classes and listening attentively to the teacher's instructions will enhance quick assimilation of the topic taught and attaining success will be inevitable on examination day. University of Lagos student, Judith, is a good example, She showed a positive attitude in her school work and dedicated ample time to her studies, which gave her an edge ahead of her classmates, and she graduated with a first class. So,
students
who show good behaviour and are focused on their studies attain academic heights. In conclusion, despite
people
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people's
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vary in their
opinion
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opinions
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, I think with the right attitude and dedication,
students
will increase their success rate in their educational
pursuit
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pursuits
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.
Submitted by Florence on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. Make sure to elaborate on the opposing view more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Work on enhancing the transition between paragraphs for better coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pedagogy
  • educational attainment
  • student-centered learning
  • intrinsic motivation
  • learner autonomy
  • didactic methods
  • academic achievement
  • inspirational teaching
  • self-directed learning
  • educational trajectory
  • learning facilitation
  • motivational strategies
  • personalized instruction
  • engagement in learning
  • teacher-student rapport
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