Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

#art #music #elements #societies #place #today’s #world #technology #children #time #school

In an era of scientific growth and advancements, technology has taken precedence over many other

career

paths. Arts and

music

have always been a fundamental element of the society;

however

, people are inclining towards more stable careers that can provide good earnings while

also

keeping them up to pace with the society. In my opinion,

art

and

music

will always have a vital role to play and it is imperative that its study is encouraged amongst students

Suggestion

a school level. Learning arts and

music

helps in exploring the

innovative

Suggestion

innovation

and creative aspect of one’s brain. People tend to develop their creative and innovative skills while learning different forms of

art

and

music

; and it is

also

a healthy leisure time activity.

Furthermore

learning arts

Accept comma addition

learning, arts

and

music

is not only a source of entertainment for students, but the skills learned can

also

be utilized in pursuing a

career

in the entertainment

industry

. Despite technological advancements,

music

and

art

industry

has remained evergreen. Talented individuals excel in their

career

and have high earnings.

Moreover

, it is

also

a source of

popularism

. Despite its charms, the

art

and

music

industry

has remained

unreliable and instant success

Suggestion

an unreliable and instant success

is hard to achieve. On one hand, research funding is encouraged for young technologist due to advancements,

on the other hand

, people in the entertainment

industry

find it difficult to secure sponsorships and funding. In conclusion, it really depends on your

career

choices and inclination rather than the changes occurring in the world due to modern technology.

Suggestion

a school level, arts and

music

should remain a part of the curriculum.

However

, parents and teachers should ensure that a balance is maintained between arts/

music

and technological studies. Once they are able to make their

career

choices, students can opt for careers they feel comfortable in pursuing.

Submitted by waqarsheikh820 on Thu Nov 07 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
academic performance
self-expression
therapeutic
cultural awareness
globalized world
diverse cultures
technological advancements
interactive tools
accessible
engaging
STEM subjects
well-rounded individuals
innovative
problem-solvers

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Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the forthcoming, all cars buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?