the chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The tables shows the percentage in each category of exports in 2016 compared to 2015
The bar chart illustrates the export
earnings
of a country through numerous groups between 2015 and 2016 in billion
dollars respectively. The table represents the change in percentage per category of exports in 2016 contrast
to 2015.
Change preposition
in contrast
Overall
, the petroleum products
, export earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
was
the highest and the lowest Correct subject-verb agreement
were
earnings
was
in the transport of textiles for both Change the verb form
were
the
years.
The export of Correct article usage
apply
the
petroleum Correct article usage
apply
products
was $60 billion
initially
, which has
increased by $3 Unnecessary verb
apply
billion
in 2016. The Engineering goods transport earnings
were around $55 billion
in 2015 and it recorded a rapid increase crossing $60 billion
in 2016. However
, the marketing of gems and Jewellery was around $41 billion
in 2015 which has dropped to nearly $40 billion
. However
, the
agricultural Correct article usage
apply
products
experienced a
similar market Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
earnings
in both the
years. Correct article usage
apply
Whereas
,
the textiles Remove the comma
apply
selling
overseas Wrong verb form
sold
was
about $25 Correct subject-verb agreement
were
billion
in 2015 and it has crossed $30 billion
eventually.
On the other hand
, the difference of percentages in data between 2016 and 2015 in petroleum products
was 3% and engineering goods was 8% increase than 2015. However
, a drop of 5.18% were
experienced in Change the verb form
was
selling
Add an article
the selling
of
gems and Jewellery. Change preposition
apply
Finally
, the
agricultural and Correct article usage
apply
the
textile marketing Correct article usage
apply
was
0.81% and 15.24%, respectively.Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words earnings, billion, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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