IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities
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Though the motto of every profession is to serve the nation more proactively, it is argued that some specific occupations
such
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 as doctors, nurses and teachers should be highly valued by paying extra salaries because of their more beneficial contribution to the
society
Use synonyms
 than the athletes and famous sportsmen.
However
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, I would strongly consent to
this
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 notion because these high payable careers can ensure revolutionary success for any civilization. To commence with, it is undoubtedly true that the contribution of doctors and nurses is indispensable for the human being. With the help of sophisticated modern technology, the mortality rate is possible to be diminished only because of developments in medical science.
Furthermore
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, many complicated diseases
such
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 as ulcers, diabetes, etc.
are
Suggestion
Are
 cured more progressively which was entirely unimaginable in the past years.
Therefore
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, the doctors and nurses would be devoted to their valuable occupation vigorously if they are treated with a higher value.
Secondly
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, as teaching is known as a noble profession, they are certainly an inevitable part of any nation.
This
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 is because they can ascertain a smooth career for the students with their cognitive knowledge, and
thus
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, they can emerge an educated nation that can progress tremendously. So, while teachers can be a key player for any civil
society
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, their devotion should be assessed with high respect.
However
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, some people claim that athletes and famous sportsmen hold significant contributions to
society
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. The main reason regarding
this
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 is that when they bring any triumph in world competitions, it is
also
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 an overwhelming accomplishment for the country as well.
However
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, though their engagement in the development of
society
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 is mentionable, their involvement is considerably less momentous than other occupations. In conclusion, though sports celebrities can play a significant role in the development of
society
Use synonyms
, doctors, nurses, and teachers are vital players to flourish in any community enormously.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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