Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities

Though the motto of every profession is to serve the nation more proactively, it is argued that some specific occupations

such

as doctors, nurses and teachers should be highly valued by paying extra salaries because of their more beneficial contribution to the

society

than the athletes and famous sportsmen.

However

, I would strongly consent to

this

notion because these high payable careers can ensure revolutionary success for any civilization. To commence with, it is undoubtedly true that the contribution of doctors and nurses is indispensable for the human being. With the help of sophisticated modern technology, the mortality rate is possible to be diminished only because of developments in medical science.

Furthermore

, many complicated diseases

such

as ulcers, diabetes, etc.

are

Suggestion

Are

cured more progressively which was entirely unimaginable in the past years.

Therefore

, the doctors and nurses would be devoted to their valuable occupation vigorously if they are treated with a higher value.

Secondly

, as teaching is known as a noble profession, they are certainly an inevitable part of any nation.

This

is because they can ascertain a smooth career for the students with their cognitive knowledge, and

thus

, they can emerge an educated nation that can progress tremendously. So, while teachers can be a key player for any civil

society

, their devotion should be assessed with high respect.

However

, some people claim that athletes and famous sportsmen hold significant contributions to

society

. The main reason regarding

this

is that when they bring any triumph in world competitions, it is

also

an overwhelming accomplishment for the country as well.

However

, though their engagement in the development of

society

is mentionable, their involvement is considerably less momentous than other occupations. In conclusion, though sports celebrities can play a significant role in the development of

society

, doctors, nurses, and teachers are vital players to flourish in any community enormously.

Sat Nov 09 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.