Many animals species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes an possible solutions to this problem.

#animals #species #activities

Excessive human intervention in nature's activity has led to extinction of certain animals.

This

essay

will discuss the

reasons including

Accept comma addition

reasons, including

Hunting and Forest

fire

This

essay

will

also

suggest

solution

Suggestion

a solution

solutions

as serious criminal charges on hunting and alternative methods for saving them from

fire

. Some of the animal has gone extinct because of public

mis-management

management that is careless or inefficient

mismanagement

. The greatest example of

this

the amazon

fire

which in just 2 days

time eradicated

Accept comma addition

time, eradicated

many species which took shelter that forest. These

fire

Suggestion

fires

are often from a small

cigratte

finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking

cigarette

or a match stick which is used by humans.

This

was not the only

fire

which took, there has been

many

Accept comma addition

many, such

such

calfornia

a state in the western United States on the Pacific; the 3rd largest state; known for earthquakes

California

fire

africa

the second largest continent; located to the south of Europe and bordered to the west by the South Atlantic and to the east by the Indian Ocean

Africa

Secondly

, hunting has been always a prominent reason for species going extinct. Hunting only happens

for

Suggestion

those animals who are rare and are having good prices in the market for their skin or teeth or medicinal. A research has been done of nearly extinction of fish, we are hugely hunting fishes for feeding or medicinal purpose and they are not growing at the same rate as we are hunting them.

Thus

, Hunting and forest fires have majorly responsible for mass eradication of animals because of humans. Increasing extinction

Suggestion

animals due to human activities is a reason for

worrysome

not reassuring; tending to cause anxiety

worrisome

wearisome

. Though it is not too late and we can work upon the solutions and save our animal kingdom. If the government can have criminal charges levy on the person hunting the animals, it would retain people from doing it. Certain countries like India,

Bangaldesh

a Muslim republic in southern Asia bordered by India to the north and west and east and the Bay of Bengal to the south; formerly part of India and then part of Pakistan; it achieved independence in 1971

Bangladesh

they have banned hunting and made punishment very severe.

Secondly

, we should have a proper disaster management

team

in place for

such

big

fire

, we should have an animal

evaucation

the act of removing the contents of something

evacuation

team

in place for

this

Suggestion

During

these recent

fire

Suggestion

fires

, it was evident that we were more curious to save humans than any other species.

Therefore

, making the hunting a global offence and having a reliable

team

to support in case of the

fire

can save us from mass eradication. In conclusion, evidently humans are the main reason of death of many animals.

This

essay

discussed the causes largely summarised as hunting and forest blaze.

This

essay

also

suggested

solution

Suggestion

solutions

a solution

to make hunting illegal and banning the citizen from doing it, and to have a back up

team

for

evacuation

Suggestion

the evacuation

of animals stuck in

such

fire

Submitted by write2navleen on Sun Nov 10 2019

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

390 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many animals species are becoming extinct as a result of human activities. What are the causes an possible solutions to this problem.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many Cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some government are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to the rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think hard work and determination bring sucess. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?