Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

nowadays

Suggestion

Nowadays

, the education has changed in

india

a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947

India

there

Suggestion

There

are few people who think

tht

pointing out something

that

competition

in children should be motivated, and

also

other people

belive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

believed

believes

that children who are taught to

co-operate

work together on a common enterprise of project

cooperate

compete become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the debate. Primarily, people think that

competition

is advantageous. In their point of view, the

childen

a young person of either sex

children

develop more

learn

Suggestion

learning

and study a lot to win the

competition

Suggestion

need to teach our children the

competition

in a good way. For

demonistration

a show or display; the act of presenting something to sight or view

demonstration

demonstrations

administration

, children work

more hard

Suggestion

harder

in the study and they compete with other classmates to receive better marks,

this

will help them with a great job after their studies.

Furthermore

, the people become more bold and depend on themselves.

In addition

to that,

gealthy

having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease

healthy

competition

maintains

passion

Suggestion

a passion

and

love in learning

Suggestion

love learning

. Turning to the negative impacts, when kids challenging, they may use other ways to winning like cheating. They are more selfish and they

are not help

Suggestion

are not helping

don't help

do not help

are not helped

have not helped

others and very

careless

Suggestion

carelessly

caring

For instance

, in our house,

refers to the speaker or writer

have never see

Suggestion

have never seen

my father encouraged

comepetition

a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers

competition

between me and my brother. My father always says that each has his own talents and skills. To cooperate

this

type, people talk and listen to others thinking and learn. That could be a great effort to learn alternative of learning with

teacher

Suggestion

a teacher

the teacher

. In conclusion,

refers to the speaker or writer

strongly agree that children

should be learn co-operate

Suggestion

should learn, co-operate

should learn co-operate

than

cometition

Suggestion

the competition

competition

Therefore

, in my point of view parents and teachers to educate children focus on cooperation, not competitions.

Submitted by muppalla2007 on Sun Nov 10 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.