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Band 5.5

some parents, specially mothers stay at home instead working, and some people think that they should receive monetary compensation from the government. Do you agree or disagree.

#parents #mothers #home #people #compensation #government
A lot of arguments have
risen
come into existence; take on form or shape
arisen
 from different people who believe that
government
 should give
money
 to compensate stay at
home
 mums. Granted, mothers have a vital role to play in raising kids, but
this
 should not be a reason for mothers to stop working completely as
this
 will only lead to a lot of family and societal issues.
This
 essay will enumerate reasons and
also
 draw a good conclusion why I disagree that
government
Suggestion
the government
 should give monetary rewards to stay at
home
 mothers.
Firstly
, the
government
 should not give
money
 to stay at
home
 mums because it will only encourage laziness among mothers. If a woman who is gainfully employed puts to bed and goes on maternity leave, the
government
 can continue to pay or compensate her while she nurses her baby.
This
 is important as she needs the
money
 to take proper care of herself and her baby. Once the woman weans her baby, she must return to work.
This
 will enable her value
money
, hard work and assist her partner financially
in
Suggestion
at
home
-building.
Secondly
, the stay at
home
 mother can become idle, and as the saying goes " an idle hand is the devil's workshop".
This
 can make her to engage in frivolous activities
such
 as unnecessary partying and wrong associations. It will
also
 increase
crime rate
Suggestion
crime rates
the crime rate
.
This
 is evident in the number of women who now engage in internet crimes. Studies have shown most of these women are stay at
home
 mothers.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
the greater part of
such
 families' financial burden will be left to the
government
 because she will depend on the
government
 to cater for all her needs and that of her children leading to more economic setback on the
government
. In conclusion, stay at
home
 mothers can be given monetary compensation while nursing their
babies but
Accept comma addition
babies, but
 must return to work after weaning.
This
 would encourage productivity, family stability and economic setback will drop.
Submitted by ibiamnnenna on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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