These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the way in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people #development

Internet and cell phones have offered a myriad of applicable methods in several aspects in modern life; their online applications on social relationships have become indispensable.

Although

there are still drawbacks of interact socially online by these ways, I believe that their advantages are more significant.

To begin

with, depending on mobile online applications to communicate with

others could

Accept comma addition

others, could

cause hazardous influence on individuals’ psychological state. To illustrate, a recent study by the University of Singapore, involved about 10.000 psychological patients, showed that 3 out of 10 of these patients are suffering from alienation and loneliness

as a result

of their social

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

behaviours

, and the lack of face-to-face

interact

Suggestion

interaction

interactions

with their social networks is a major contributory factor. As

this

example illustrated, if people communicate with others online without enjoy the sense of gathering,

this

could result a psychological

disturbances

Suggestion

disturbance

Nevertheless

, I suppose the advantages of using online social platforms would eclipse their negatives as saving time is one of these merits. To clarify, many people could keep in touch with their beloved ones all day long throughout mobile apps which facilitate their communication.

For example

, organizing social events, namely birthday parties or family outing, have become easier by creating an event on Facebook, the well-known social platform.

Furthermore

, social media facilitate gaining information by its instant notifications; people could realize a plethora of world news which enrich their knowledge.

For instance

, many people all over the world updated with the Egyptian revolution events, in 2011, by surfing the internet

such

as Google and YouTube websites.

Hence

, not only do online applications facilitate people’s social communication, but

also

it could provide them with valuable information. In conclusion, despite the negative influence of using smart phones and the internet on individuals’ psychological state, I hold the notion that these

applications advantages

Accept comma addition

applications, advantages

exceed its drawbacks it may cause as facilitating communications and gaining information are obvious merits of them.

Submitted by g.fattah on Mon Nov 11 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the way in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some nations ,they have the option to import food fr all around the glob. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with a number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages