Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

belongs

Suggestion

belong

to well behaved and civilised

society

, But there are differences between social mindsets of people. It is always argued that voluntary services

such

as charity, aiding

unprivileged

people, cleaning surroundings and

many

Suggestion

much

more should be part of

school curriculum

Suggestion

the school curriculum

. Well, I agree with

this

statement and I believe it should be mandatory in every

school

. I shall

further

discuss my supporting arguments in following paragraphs.

To begin

with,

Social community service

Suggestion

the Social community service

will impact children’s mind in

positive way

Suggestion

a positive way

positive ways

such

that they understand the way of becoming

responsible citizen

Suggestion

responsible citizens

a responsible citizen

. Not only that, they can empathise with socially backward or disable people.

For instance

, Few years back, my

school

started educating

student

Suggestion

students

the student

about

Swatch Bharat mission

Suggestion

the Swatch Bharat mission

Swatch Bharat missions

and it was mandatory for each student to take part. From that event, I started understanding

importance

Suggestion

the importance

of making surrounding clean and I learned to throw rubbish in dustbin always

for

Suggestion

a lifetime.

Besides

this

, volunteer work from

school

days adds social relations for a lifetime, which can benefit pupils in their later career process.

Moreover

, helping

disable

Suggestion

disabled

or elderly people gives inner satisfaction and proud moment, which makes them understand the humanity and kindness. They feel returning

favour

Suggestion

a favour

the favour

society

and get

meaning

Suggestion

the meaning

of true happiness.

For example

, student who aid at

elderly home

Suggestion

the elderly home

would always respect their

grand parents

a parent of your father or mother

grandparents

and folks.

However

, few

school

children will find

these time

Suggestion

this time

these times

excuse

Suggestion

an excuse

hangout

Suggestion

hang out

with friends and might not give hundred percent for free service to

community

Suggestion

the community

. To put

this

in a nutshell, I pen

down saying

Accept comma addition

down, saying

that even though there are minor disadvantage of

such

mandatory volunteer work from

school

, there are huge advantages for

society

and

individual

Suggestion

the individual

individuals

Also

, I believe it will be one step towards making perfect

society

Submitted by Nirbhay on Mon Nov 11 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
unpaid community service
charity
neighborhood improvement
teaching sports
empathy
social justice
transferable skills
teamwork
leadership
problem-solving
civic duty
civic engagement
educational enhancement
practical experiences
academic learning
real-world applications
social cohesion
mutual support
time management
balancing priorities

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?