IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

IT IS OFTEN SAID THAT GOVERMENTS SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY ON PROJECTS TO PROTECT WILDLIFE, WHILE THERE ARE OTHER PROBLEMS THAT ARE MORE IMPORTANT? DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#goverments #money #projects #wildlife
Currently, government is utilizing a lion share of budget for conservation of forest.
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would like to go in hand with it.
However
, some people think that authority should focus more on developing education and health facilities. Admittedly, some species of organisms and plants are now
in
Suggestion
on
verge
Suggestion
the verge
 of extinction due to the over exploitation of the natural resources for human needs, so it the need of the hour to conserve them. We have faced
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of natural disasters like
land slide
an overwhelming electoral victory
landslide
,
earth quake
shaking and vibration at the surface of the earth resulting from underground movement along a fault plane or from volcanic activity
earthquake
, flood
etc
 and all
this
occure
come to pass
occur
occurred
occurs
 due to depletion of
wild life
all living things (except people) that are undomesticated
wildlife
 and deforestation.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
, some people
thinks
Suggestion
think
 that
thet
definite article
the
they
 government should
primerly
for the most part
primarily
 focus on expanding the education and health care facilities in the country. Obviously, it
help
Suggestion
helps
 in
emergance
the gradual beginning or coming forth
emergence
emergencies
emergency
 of good healthy society, but
it
it is
it's
 of no use, if we still continue to over exploit the nature. To recapitulate, the government should focus on sustainable system of development without harming the environment. The forest and wildlife
has
Suggestion
have
 to be considered as
artery
Suggestion
an artery
the artery
, which is feeding the ecosystem. So the conservation of our green earth should be given
atmost
Suggestion
at most
priority not
Accept comma addition
priority, not
 only
in
Suggestion
at
 national level, in fact internationally.
Submitted by sel10bala10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: