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Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your friends ask you to be a partner in his new business. write a letter to reply him: - give your opinion about your friend's business idea - tell him weather or not you have decided to accept his offer - and explain your reason for this decision

#friends #partner #business #friend #idea #weather #offer #reason #decision
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Dear Simran, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you healthy. You always come up with unique
business
Use synonyms
 ideas, which were not approved by me.
This
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 time, I am glad to become a
business
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 partner in opening a gym with multiple leisure activities. Health issues are rising day by day. People of all age groups prefer to join a gym to maintain their physique and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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protect themselves from multiple ailments.
This
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 effort will ultimately contribute
for
Change preposition
to
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 the development
in
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
as well as
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 more
profit making
Add a hyphen
profit-making
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.We have good coordination, which could
to
Change the verb form
apply
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keep our
business
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 at the pinnacle of success. I believe in
a
Remove the article
apply
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physiology that two minds are always better than one. Especially in a tough situation, we both can come up with two different ideas and choose the best to handle the situation. Being a
health conscious
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health-conscious
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 person, I always wanted to open a
business
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 which promotes health and fitness goals. As a middle-class earner, it becomes difficult to contribute
such
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 a big amount
funds
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of funds
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 to
business
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 solely.
However
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,
business
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 in a partnership could solve
this
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 issue . Your lovingly, Raman
Submitted by bajwaraman415 on

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task achievement
Expand on why opening a gym with leisure activities is appealing.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors; for example, 'Approved by me' should be 'which I have not approved.'
coherence cohesion
The letter starts with a warm and personal greeting, effectively setting a friendly tone.
task achievement
The response clearly covers all required points: opinion on the business idea, decision, and reason.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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