IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Stress- related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do u think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#stress- #illnesses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Diseases related to
stress
Use synonyms
 are ubiquitous in our society nowadays.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will highlight the two main sources of
st
Use synonyms
ress relate s
Accept comma addition
stress, relate
icknesses including peer pressure and inability to meet up with proposed work deadlines.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 pr
ofer s
present for acceptance or rejection
proffer
prefer
olutions to these is
sues including b
Accept comma addition
issues, including
eing positively assertive and prioritizing tasks
accordingly
Linking Words
. Tension from friends and colleagues can result to
i
Suggestion
in
ll health.
In addition
Linking Words
, not being able to meet up with tasks related to work, can act as a st
ressor a
Suggestion
s well.
This
Linking Words
 is because humans can be influenced by what is happening around them.To exemplify,
as a result
Linking Words
 of unhealthy competition amongst co
equals,
Suggestion
anxiety and depression can develop which has unpleasant consequences on their self confidence, esteem and well being. Being able to focus on ourselves is a major tool for survival in a world full of strains.
Although
Linking Words
, people's opinions could be helpful, it is necessary to detach the irrelevant ideas in order to avoid pressure.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, arranging needs and duties in order of importance has shown to combat
this
Linking Words
 problem. To illustrate, adopting the use of scale of preference in our daily li
ves not o
Accept comma addition
lives, not
nly within work environment has proven to be 95% effective, according to a survey carried out in the United State Police Department as published in The Sun newspaper.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in
order t
Suggestion
in order
o reduce anxiety, we have to give precedence to crucial needs. Succinctly, in recent times,
stress
Use synonyms
 related illnesses are becoming increasingly popular.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 discussed how
stress
Use synonyms
 is often caused by effects of peer pressure and being unable to achieve tasks.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 suggested remedies which in
cludes;
Suggestion
include
being decisive and fulfilling tasks according to their level of importance.
Submitted by keemonline04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: