A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at art institution or organisation as part of their programe. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the type of courses requirement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A chunk of high schools demand pupils to obtain a period of

work

Use synonyms

at art companies or systems as part of their progress.

This

Linking Words

writer believes that these children can gain more experiences related to school courses and flexibility in

time

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management. The pupils who have engaged in unpaid jobs during their

study

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will vicariously take factual

life

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lessons.

In other words

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, many managers can convey different modes of knowledge which are appropriate with each student,

therefore

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the more comprehensive gradually forms in these individuals.

Also

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, the attendants can implement a diversity of works that has a strong link to the school programme. so that they absolutely grab precious details and build up their self-esteem.

For instance

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, the UK has delivered many extra-curriculums that force teenagers to participate in jobs that are unpaid but just for

life

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experiences,

although

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there is not a worthy salary, it is noted that these people have achieved several goals in their school

due to

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the prominent experience that they had gotten. Another key that has an advantageous impact on students is the versatile

time

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arrangement. As soon as the pupils undertake their first job, the

time

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schedule and odd rules are the aspects that overwhelm them,

however

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, if these young workers can acquaint themselves with

this

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new environment, they can not only become the masters of

time

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but

also

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carry out the works that are suited to the regulations.

As a result

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, the young can be proficient in timetables for both

work

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and

study

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leading to an ability to ingenious balance in daily

life

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. Taking Japan as a prime example, a number of public institutions consider

work

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in the organisation's leisure

time

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as an essential enrolment for those who want to

study

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because of the properly adjusting

time

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management to get up with harsh hindrances during courses. In conclusion, students who get involved in working

in particular

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groups can utterly become superior

due to

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their

life

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experiences and the skill of improvising

work

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and

study

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in a reasonable

time

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Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhàWed May 22 2024

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task response

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of students undertaking unpaid work at art institutions. However, there should be a clearer balance between the advantages and disadvantages. Both sides should be equally examined for a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

While the logical structure is present, the cohesion between some sentences can be improved. For example, transitions between paragraphs and ideas should be smoother. Using connectors like 'However', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' could enhance the flow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets the stage well, but the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more concisely. Rather than introducing new points, make sure to wrap up the essay by reinforcing the arguments already presented.

supported main points

The essay's main points are well-supported, but sometimes the ideas are not fully developed. Ensure that each main point is explained in more detail, and double-check that all examples are entirely relevant and contribute to the argument.

task response

The task is well understood and addressed with a good introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

task response

Relevant examples from the UK and Japan are used to substantiate points, enhancing the essay's credibility.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in understanding the argument being made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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