In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

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Introduction

It has been one of the most controversial

topic

Suggestion

topics

, that the rate of

crime

Use synonyms

increased drastically in many countries.

Suggestion

is gradually violent in nature

also

Linking Words

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will illustrate the possible reasons behind it and how it can be eradicated.

Body paragraph 1

Few of the reasons behind

increased

Suggestion

the increased crime

crime

Use synonyms

are

introduces an alternative

lack of

education

Use synonyms

, financial challenge, social

surrounding

the environmental condition

surroundings

and use of excess social media and internet.

Firstly

Linking Words

, people with less

education

Use synonyms

became a criminal in many cases. Poor families where parents are thinking kids as

money

Use synonyms

making machine from

very young age

Suggestion

a very young age

, don’t send them to school. These kids later choose

path

Suggestion

the path

a path

crime

Use synonyms

due to less knowledge of doing right or wrong.

Secondly

Linking Words

, deficiency of

money

Use synonyms

lead people to do

crime

Use synonyms

Linking Words

such

Suggestion

Such

as people in

slum area

Suggestion

slum areas

a slum area

, who fight for food and shelter for each day, can choose

crime

Use synonyms

for

money

Use synonyms

Thirdly

Linking Words

, friends and family of a criminal follow the same path, like

brother

Suggestion

the brother

of a criminal can’t escape to do

crime

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

, use of excessive social media and technology enhance the

crime

Use synonyms

to be more violent, as communication between the criminals is a

cat walk

narrow platform extending out into an auditorium

catwalk

due to

whatsup

Suggestion

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

Accept space

Body paragraph 2

The solutions to

this

Linking Words

trend are

combine

Suggestion

combined

effort of government and society

Accept space

Government should take steps like

children

Suggestion

a child's education

child's education

children's education

education

Use synonyms

is mandatory in

country irrespective financial situation

Suggestion

country irrespective financial situations

the country irrespective financial situation

a country irrespective financial situation

Accept space

Government should provide allowances to families in below average income for child care

Accept space

For

Linking Words

example countries

Accept comma addition

example, countries

like Canada provide monthly $1000 per kid to parents having below $35000 annual income

Accept space

Everybody in society should stay alert to protect the society.

Conclusion

In the conclusion, lack of

money

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

, social support, and affluent use of social media and

internet

Suggestion

the internet

might be the reasons of gradual increase in

crime

Use synonyms

. It can be controlled by Government and each individual with some discipline.

Nov 12, 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
violent crimes
socioeconomic factors
law enforcement
technology
education
employment
drug abuse
alcohol abuse
poverty
inequality
effectiveness
investing
job creation
social support
community engagement

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