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Band 4.5

9. In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from the health problem as a result of eating too much junk food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax or this kind of food.

#countries #people #health #junk #food #government #tax
In today’s era, a segment of society is suffering with major
health
 problem due to consuming excessive fast
food
. According to some people
government
 should impose higher
tax
 on these kinds of
food
. I
am partially agreed
Suggestion
have partially agreed
partially agree
 with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will throw the light
to
Suggestion
of
 the statement.
Firstly
, there is a trend of eating
junk
food
. People are too busy
in
Suggestion
with
 their work schedule and they have less time for cooking. So, they tend to buy fast
food
.
This
 is the main reason
now a days
in these times
nowadays
 people are suffering from major
health
 issues.
For instance
, a survey conducted in Singapore and India, one of the developed countries revealed that people are compelled to buy fast
food
 because of their busy schedule. Half of the population in the countries are suffering from
health
 problems
such
 as respiratory issues, high cholesterol, kidney problem due to consumption of unhealthy
food
.
Secondly
, imposing higher
tax
 on fast
food
 will be
unaffordable
 for poor people only. Rather than increasing
tax
 on
junk
food
government
 should increase consumption of ready to eat healthy
food
.
Moreover
, they should deplete the cost of fruits and
vegetables which
Accept comma addition
vegetables, which
 are double of the
junk
food
 cost.
Additionally
, money which
government
 will get from imposing higher
tax
 on unhealthy would
beneficial
Suggestion
benefit
 for a
country
Suggestion
country's
 economy.
However
, only lower class people will get affected
with
Suggestion
by
 higher
tax
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion, increasing the
tax
 on
junk
food
 will only deter lower class people. If the
government
really want
Suggestion
really wants
 to reduce consumption of
junk
food
, there can be other solutions to get rid of
this
 problem like
health
 awareness programs and reduce the cost of healthier foods.
Submitted by vandanaguglani89 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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